New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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