im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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