My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My vagina is officially offended.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
