Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im calling her cock vulture from now on
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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