Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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