On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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