We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
