bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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