I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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