Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
