Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
