She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I did not marry a roomba.
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