hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
