I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
