sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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