I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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