I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
