We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
