my mouth tastes like poor choices
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
