Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
