we have officially lost it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
