As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
