She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
