suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
