sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
