Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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