FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
