Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
