I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
