omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
