we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
