i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
