...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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