That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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