sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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