12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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