dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Terrible idea I love it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
