So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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