This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
