im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We had to coat check the pizza.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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