i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
