just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
