i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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