If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
