I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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