Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
