I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
