God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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