My sheets look like a crime scene.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
