how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
