hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
