batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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